Ask Aunt Bahbra: 90% of my brain is a barren wasteland?

[This is a new feature that I am trying out here to see if I get any response. It will be republished on Bedarkened.com as soon as I get the site reformatting finished. More about the good Aunt Bahbra to come.]

Ask Aunt Bahbra
just another clever nibblet from bedarkened.com



Dear Aunt Bahbra,

I have heard that we only use 10% of our brain, and in other contexts that we only use 1/10th of 1 percent of our brain. That doesn't seem like very much. Are either of these ideas true?

- Mel, Tuscon AZ

Well Dahlings, that all depends on whether you were re-elected in 2004.

Actually, it turns out that in most cases it is simply not true. It is not entirely clear how this notion became pop-fiction-pseudo-science, as we know that it predates the search for weapons of mass destruction, the concept of Smurf dolls being possessed of secret hidden powers, and the idea that maintaining a girlish figure can be done in 5 minutes a day (Heavens no. Here, have another scone, Deary). In truth, the source of this fabrication remains a mystery. For the majority of us, we actually use 100% of our brain, despite the abundance of evidence to the contrary on C-Span. We think that there are a few exceptions like Bobcat Goldthwait, Paris Hilton, and John Wayne Bobbitt, but that is unconfirmed. And we have no desire to do so.

Look at it this way, Sweetie. If you used only 1/10 of 1% of your brain, then theoretically you could just toss the other 99.9% of the tissue that you're not using (and we don't mean Charmin) and still function in the same manner to which you have become accustomed. Not entirely reasonable, is it, Lovie? No, I'm afraid you have not a square, not a square to spare.

Lovingly,
Auntie B

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